How to be a Kick-Ass Introvert without anyone noticing ‘til it’s too late.
As an avoider, do you consider yourself to be an introvert? Likely so.
You know the kind of folks. The one that are quiet but deadly. Don’t be fooled by their physical presence. The silent ones can lead you into all kinds of trouble when they kick in to gear.
You got the Introvert Power. You start owning your introvert power.
From socializing to presenting… It’s time for you to be the Kick-Ass Introvert you were meant to be.
So you still think you’re an introvert? Think again, buddy.
You’re a kick-ass introvert – a silent warrior – a badass – a lady – a gentleman – whatever you want to be – whatever pronouns you prefer – whatever kind of introvert you wish to label yourself.
Are you tired of being left out? Do you roll your eyes when someone says, “Hey, everybody – we’re all extroverts around here!”
Be An Introvert Of Action
Let’s now have a kind of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy session.
You might be an introvert. Go ahead and crush your old introvert myth.
Action 1: Make a commitment to yourself and others to avoid AVOID AVOIDANCE from this day forward. Avoid the small stuff. Don’t put things off for a more convenient time.
Do not make excuses for your avoidance. Don’t settle. Whatever you do, don’t give up on accomplishing your goals and dreams.
Next Action: Start to break free from your introvert personality prison.
Stevie Wonder once sang, “If it’s magic you want, get yourself together.” He was talking about love, but how does one get oneself together to get the love they deserve? The reality is that for introverts, getting ourselves together isn’t really something we do so much as something we discover.
More Action:Crash the party!
Do you hate parties? Interviews? Networking events? Do you dread small talk? Being charming? Picking up on subtle social cues? Crash it !
Yes. Crash social events.
Don’t panic. You know you’re awesome! You just wish everyone else validate your awesomeness.
Notice that once you crash a party, or a meeting you transition into the sphere of assertive behavior.
Action:Start talking to people in your target market.
Find out where they hide, when they avoid difficult conversations, when they feel like avoiding starting something new, when they avoid something so much that it hinders them from achieving their goals or plans.
Then take another step forward and create an experience for them. Create an experience where they experience the avoidance so deeply that they are forced to confront it directly. If you do that – you did them a favor.
Action: Go to a group, or a group of friends, and start a storytelling trend – a storytelling trend where you tell each other stories of avoidance.
Tell them about the last time you faced a hard conversation. Or when you were afraid to have a talk with your spouse about something difficult going on in your life. Or about the time you thought that by just avoiding it, things would magically go away or improve themselves.
I know it all sounds crazy. But again you advanced into the sphere of assertive behavior. That’s good.
Action: Take an opposite approach. Take a “yin” approach.
Take a yin approach. How can you have more conversations that challenge your assumptions? That produces evidence that contradicts what you believe to be true?
You must look at, and acknowledge how and why you avoid people and circumstances.
It means viewing “avoidance as something to avoid”.
It means asking yourself, what do you have to lose? You build a closed loop of avoiding avoidance as you find your next escape hatch.
In this way you break certain weird psychologic tangles in your mind.
Action: Develop a plan to continuously kill the avoidance, not your life.
If you’re tired of being an expert in your field and having theories but little results, this is the growth strategy for you.
Create a horrible feeling in your life that’s even worse than the horrible feeling of saying no.
Action: Another approach is to create a lifestyle that supports going all in. Here are a few examples:
Spike curiosity and then amplify that curiosity by providing a clear and compelling first impression, and then build momentum with anticipation.
Make every time you take a leap of faith and avoid a bad option – you increase the likelihood of success.
Action: Another way is to create a viral loop for AVOID AVOIDANCE. Make every time you take a leap of faith and avoid a bad option – this one decision -makes another decision more likely. In other words you gradually reinforce your future assertive behavior.
As you continue to prove yourself wrong by making correct decisions one after the other, the entire world begins to see things from your perspective. And as this happens, no longer will people question why “you’re so successful” or what makes you so “lucky” because the world now sees that it is indeed happening due to choice and not chance.
Next big blog post in this series is about making outrageous plans and assumptions.
WIN BY SLAYING YOUR AVOIDANCE is the first in a three parts mega-blog.
Nothing gets in the way of success more than the draining habit of avoidance. Nothing gets in the way of the potential abundance delivered by the Law of Attraction than avoiding the munificence of life.
We avoid hard conversations. Do you avoid arguments?
We avoid certain people. Do you feel you lack sufficient education? Do you avoid old people’s company? Do you avoid young people’s company? Do you avoid people of a different ethnic group who speak a foreign language?
Do you feel always criticized? Do you avoid asking questions?
We avoid evidence that contradicts what we think. We tend to avoid hard decisions. We avoid starting a project until we’re certain of the outcome.
I know people who avoid getting out of bed in the morning.
To justify our avoidance, we lie to ourselves and others. We tell ourselves that we’re noble – to not hurt someone’s feelings. We tell ourselves we don’t want to offend others. We hope that things will get better. We tell ourselves that things will get easier. We tell ourselves that we can avoid the real issue without any consequences. We decide to start when the time will be right. We think we are not smart enough to handle the issue at hand.
Sometimes we muster up half the courage to do something. We hold half the conversation. We do half of the hard thing.
We acknowledge the evidence but the circumstances are now different so it’s no longer relevant.
We see the person we’re avoiding but pretend to ignore them.
We start but don’t commit to the desired results.
We all have folks in our lives that are so important to us that we don’t want to risk pissing them off.
We find seasonal reasons for procrastination. Everyone blames The Pandemic. If only The President would handle it different. Then we blame the Delta virus. The fourth wave is coming. It’s all the unvaccinated Republicans’ fault. “The Climate”. Yes it’s the climate that changed.
Half-efforts tend to make things worse, not better. When things don’t get better, it only reinforces the internal conclusion that we shouldn’t have said nor done anything in the first place.
Avoiding reality is easier.
Avoiding reality today makes the future harder.
THE HIGH COST OF AVOIDANCE
There is increasingly a precious price to pay in return for avoidance.
When you avoid other people you learn only from your old self.
Do we avoid asking questions because we’re afraid to be perceived as a fool?
When you avoid other peoples you keep coaching yourself the same old concepts.
Avoiding puts you on a hair-trigger, anything will set you off. We all do this. Who hasn’t entirely avoided a hard conversation with their partner about something only to find themselves in an insignificant argument over something trivial?
Of course, the petty fight isn’t about the trivial thing; it’s about avoidance of the hard thing.
Everything becomes harder until we stop avoiding what’s getting in the way. The longer you wait the higher the cost.
If you’re always the same avoider person, you keep on echoing in your mind the same old ideas. Avoiding others preserves you as the narrow thinker. Grow your mind by coordinating life with new people.
However, for fresh new ideas, it’s just about time that you allow other people into your life. These people will teach you new things. They will ask you questions that will force you to think about yourself, your emotions, and your actions in a new light.
Find new teachers. Ask your new teachers questions. Keep growing by learning from new teachers.
When you’re surrounded by new people, you expand your horizons. You learn from others and grow without feeling it.
It’s better to ask questions than to remain stagnant.
The only people who no longer change are the dead.
Let’s face it, conflict sucks… It can be awkward, unpleasant and downright awful to witness… And yet, for some reason we keep putting ourselves in all sorts of situations where we know certain people will inevitably get mad.
Aren’t you tired of arguing with your fellow co=worker? Or avoiding your family members over petty disputes?
Stay curious. Stay Interested. Be interesting.
Do you let your assumptions, prejudices and anxieties get the better of you? Sometimes, the things you think you need to avoid are the very things that will create the conflict you say you’re trying to avoid.
Avoidance is a vicious circle.
You cannot attract friends and prosperity by avoiding them.
The next blog installment in this series is titled: How To Be the Kick-Ass Introvert
The Law of Attraction is ubiquitous. All around us. It’s so pervasive that we often don’t discern it. There are many ways to trigger and leverage the Law of Attraction. Anyone can teach the Law of Attraction once they open their mind and observe it operating in their lives. Nora Roberts is a successful novelist. Author of many best-selling novels.
If you want to get something – here is her approach.
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
If you don’t ask, the answer’s always no.
If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.
On September 16, 2021 I wrote about the choice between your IRA and your crypto-currency, wherever its hidden. (crypto means secret or hidden in Greek). Today Jamie Dimon, CEO of JP Morgan called crypto-currency Fool’s Gold. If you’re interested, here it is:
“Book Proposals That $ell” by Terry Whalin is a practical guide and handbook for authors who plan on writing a book or already hold a manuscript of their book and want to get published by a large publishing house. If you’re writing your first book, but don’t know where to start, “Book Proposals That $ell,” is for you. With step-by-step instructions, this guide will teach you how to write a winning book proposal–and get your book published. Terry Whalin, an author and book editor, released a new revised edition of his “Book Proposals That $ell”. He guides aspiring authors through the maze of national Publishing Houses. Successful selling of a well drafted manuscript ensures the author future royalties and a well-crafted product to be proud of.
What will the author get from the book publishing industry? (1) Sales and royalty of the book (2) An official document called an ISBN number which is a number that unifies the production of a book and its legitimacy. (3) Portability of the ISBN number to other publishers for an easy publishing and printing. (4) A book produced and printed in a high class format since it is done through professional book layout and design procedure. (5) The books is stored in the Library of Congress using the ISBN number. (6) Have the book released and sold in major book stores.
In the Age of Amazon anyone can self-publish a book. But a self-published book mostly languishes in obscurity.
Whalin takes the reader of this guide book through the concept that a published book is a profitable business venture for the Publishing House.
A proposed or written manuscript has to be pitched to, and evaluated by, a professional literary agent or an acquisition book editor with a track record in the publishing business. Next, an acquisition editor needs to be sold upon, to advocate the manuscript before the Business Board of the reputable Publishing House. The Business Board consists of publishing executives, senior editors who are known for their exceptional expertise in the publishing field, (who may be editors of prestigious magazines or editors of different books); book marketing and book-selling experts.
In order to convince the board of the publishing house to offer a contract, the author must demonstrate understanding and willingness to be a partner in marketing and show a potential of a wide public readership audience who will buy the book.
Whalin’s guide book for successful book proposals includes every detail – all information on how to find a literary agent, or where to meet and how to pitch to a publisher’s acquisition editor. It includes his 21 secrets for successful book proposal based on his own many years of experience as an author and book acquisition editor.
Whalin’s book is a how-to guide that shows you what to do and explains why you should do it. It’s your personal roadmap to getting published by a large publishing house like Penguin, HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster, Morgan James, etc.
This guide includes an actual sample of a winning book proposal contributed by Michael Hyatt, the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. Just studying the instructions chapter by Mr. Hyatt is well worth studying Whalin’s present 2021 complete revised hand book.
I studied Whalin’s new book and expanded my writing and publishing world understanding. If you want to get your book published by a large publishing house, this is the guide for you!
Here are three productive dispositions towards life. Consider them.
If you like them – adopt them.
REDEFINE YOUESELF EVERY DAY
That means that we should reinvent ourselves every day.
Whether you like it or not, we live under continuous changes. Our reality is perpetually changing.
Life around us is in continuous transformation. Consciously or not, we are being ceaselessly transformed.
Our chronological age changes every day. Every twenty-four hours our age changes.
Our outer appearances change incrementally as time goes by. During childhood we grew lots of hair. As we proceed living to our life’s end we get there with sparse hair or no hair. We change our own definition of who we are. One time I was a medical student, then a medical doctor. Later, I showed up as a Sunday morning Bible preacher. Look it up on YouTube…
Consider the transgender movement – people change their gender. The Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner is now Ms. Caitlyn Jenner.
Ronald Reagan reinvented himself from a film industry actor to US president.
We have choices. The choices before us are either to let things happen to us — go bald, or get a hair transplant.
Would you let s stranger decide the coloring of your hair?
Should we let other people define us? This is the question.
It is our personal responsibility to reinvent ourselves in response to the changes around us. We are always in a better position reinventing ourselves, and define who we are rather than let others do it to us.
Folks who are determined on self-improvement are self-transformative.
LIVING LIFE TO THE LIMIT
This comes naturally to those who have a vision and goals.
I found that achievement of a goal is easier than carrying the hardships of an ambiguous generality. Having a goal means that you know what you want.
Life around us brings flow waves of opportunities. Hurricanes of opportunities!
Many times it is enough to have a goal and then keep your eyes and ears open and the goal rolls right in your doorstep. Ask and you shall receive
Trespassing limits and crossing boundaries is a misperception.
Who sets the limits for us? Do you let others decide what your limits are? For many years it was believed that a man cannot run a mile in less than four minutes, until in 1954 Dr. Roger Banister did it.
We need to live without bias and avoid assumptions. Assumptions have no basis in our empiric reality.
Be unbiased – take it to the limit. If you trespass a boundary – it is a lot easier to ask forgiveness than permission…
DO YOUR OWN THING
Live your own life. Go ahead and do what you think is right for you.
Tell nobody where you are headed.
When you don’t tell no one what you are about to do, then no one can intimidate you with their own fears of failure.
Why would you agree to carry the burden of other people’s prejudices?
Notice how leading politicians go everywhere speaking in public and never tell their future public office plans…