Dafna Lender, LCSW, is a certified trainer and supervisor in both Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) and Theraplay. She’s the program director of The Theraplay Institute in Evanston, IL.

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The retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy was appointed to the Supreme Court by a president Reagan.  Kennedy was supposed to be a conservative judge appointed by a Republican president.  History tells us that it didn’t work exactly this way.  Justice Kennedy turned out to be a swing vote that sided with the liberal wing in the court.  Some court observes dubbed him as a “neo-liberal”.

There are no more liberal voices in philosophy and the social movements in society than the Existentialists who flowered in France and Europe in the mid-20th century. The loudest banner carrier among them was Jean-Paul Sartre.

In his opinion on the case of Planned Parenthood v. Casey Justice Kennedy wrote about freedom:

“The right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life…”

For all I know, it is the best concise definition of existentialism I ever read.

On the question of personal liberty Justice Kennedy stated:

“Indifference to personal liberty is but the precursor of the state’s hostility to it.”






#JusticeAnthonyKennedy #USsupremecourt #PlannedParenthood #Existentialism #JeanPaulSartre #MandyLender

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The Law of Attraction is a mindset that bridges the transition from the realm of thought design to empiric reality – manifestation.  To bring manifestation to completion, a skillset is required to facilitate the process.

A mindset and a skill-set.

This essay discusses the constitutive attributes of the mindset of the Law of Attraction.  The skillset is described in my book “The Master Attractors”, (Morgan James Publishing, New York, 2013), under the chapter titled The Tool Box of the Master Attractors.

Before attempting the intellectual analysis and discussion let me posit this question:

Do you believe that the sun will rise tomorrow?

Whatever your answer is, pause to ponder: What makes you believe that you got the right answer?

We shall get back to the possible answers, later on.

The first attribute of the Attractome is that – the Law of Attraction is involuntarily and incessantly creating.  It creates all the time in the human mind.

We humans always think; one way or another, good or bad thoughts, consciously or unconsciously, while we are awake or during our sleep while in the brain is in neuronal default mode.  We make ceaseless mental selections that manifest in our lives.  Value judgments for good or for bad do not play a role in the process of manifesting.

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The second attribute is that the Law of Attraction is mentally compelling and obsessive.  That is because we always think.  If you doubt that, try not to think for a moment.  The Law of Attraction is always co-creating and ceaselessly manifesting.

The Law of Attraction is compelling people to act externally in alignment with their thoughts, their intentions or fantasies.  Unless the person holds an opposing or a diversionary thought, they will end up (slowly or quickly) manifesting the thought in the reality of their life.  The process of manifestation is obsessive and compels the person into taking conducive actions to manifest their new reality.   The aligning actions are a skillset that accelerates the manifestation.  The new reality materializes even if they may not like what they conjured up in their mind.

In previous writings we explained why the Law of Attraction is self-serving and self-preserving.  In order to manifest that which is self-serving the Law of Attraction shifts into an “obsessive gear” and compels the thinker to perform in a fashion that is conducive to manifesting the obsessive intention or objective.

A minority of folks who harbor self-destructive thoughts – damage themselves.  They are also sometimes suicidal.

Let us now explain the mechanism that accounts for the phenomenon of the Law of Attraction.

The essence of the process is that a thought once sparked in the human mind, starts thinking about itself.   In due course, that thought spawns collateral thoughts.   We often call them associated thoughts, referred to commonly as “associations”.  Next, the new collateral associated thoughts spread throughout the mind as a ripple around the original thought.

The ripples of thoughts in the mind expand our consciousness to include the target idea that we wish to manifest in our external reality.  We become consciously aware of opportunities, resources, people, investments and circumstances that are conducive to the manifestation of the original intent or objective.  We meet the lovers; find the money, get the job, benefit from the right master-mind alliances, or acquire the desired piece of real-state.

Compare this mindset process to your use of an internet search engine.  You are interested in an item and you enter the name of the item into the search engine and press Enter.  Then, voila, the search engine returns to you thousands or millions of related pieces of information in a split moment, while you still type the item.  It does not matter to the search engine what you entered – an object’s name or a fantasy thought.  Both are energy signals to the search engine.

The search engine is neutral.  It does not care and does not pass judgment on the item you asked for.  Better yet, the search engine does not care if what you search is “true” or “false”.  If you did not get what you want – you modify your search terms and try again.

When you get what you asked from the search engine, you receive it in the form of links leading you to your desired objective.  With the links to the information you can now assemble and manifest your objective.  You literally get a map with turn by turn directions to reach your destination, if that is a place that you asked for.  If you didn’t get want you want, you modify again your search term – you then keep searching – obsessively – until you get what you want.

By doing this we become co-creators of our new reality and the new reality starts to manifest and take shape around us.  Now that we think about “it”, (whatever “it” may be), we start to see and perceive evidence for it all around us.  When we perceive the factual conscious evidence for “it”, we start to believe that “it” is “truly” our empiric reality.

The Law of Attraction is a neurophysiologic mental phenomenon that matches our target seeking thoughts with the corresponding components of empiric reality – the reality that matches our original thought.

The mindset of the Law of Attraction is a higher state of awareness!

If the thinker holds contradictory doubts about the desired outcome (this ‘new reality’), or changes the description of the objective in mid—process, their central nervous system enters a state of confusion and will not deliver the desired outcome until the objective is clearly defined.  Clarity of thoughts facilitates manifestation.

Thus, repeated thinking and vivid imagination of a desired (or undesired) situation  eventually compels and inevitably manifests in the external surrounding reality of the thinker.

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The third attribute to consider is: The Law of Attraction is selfish.

You cannot stay neutral facing this last statement.  You have to agree or disagree at your own peril.  The Law of Attraction is selfish in that it acts in the manner it acts in order to preserve itself.

For example, we employ the Law of Attraction to fulfill our basic needs – food and shelter.  The Law of Attraction supports our survival needs.

You must maintain an open mind to internalize the statements above.

Let me emphasize again that the Law of Attraction is selfish.  See, whatever the products of the Law of Attraction are – the preponderance of the results is almost always in favor of the original expected manifestation.   If the manifestation is delayed, it was delayed because the thinker harbored a doubt, or was confused, or lacked clarity while conceiving the desired outcome.

Hence – the Law of Attraction is always right on the target it was given.

Since the preponderance of outcomes are in favor of the Law of Attraction by manifesting what was asked of it, then the Law of Attraction ends up as the winning party of a pair of different choices – manifest or null.  On the long run folks who think and act in alignment with the Law of Attraction score more “wins” (manifesting their objective) than nulls.

People, who serially manifested material objects, are then materially wealthier than other average people.

Alternately, for people whose manifested objective was an intangible notion then are greater in wisdom, or rich in psychic income.

When peoples’ goal is health and longevity, they learn and find ways and methods to attract health and cure and live a longer life span than other average people.

The self-preserving bias of the Law of Attraction is discernible as the manifesting people live longer, invent, co-create more, add value and propagate the intelligence of the Law of Attraction as a by-product during their successful lifetime.

Compelling evidence is demonstrated in the lives of the teachers of the Law of Attraction, most of whom made great fortunes by propagating the ultimate awareness and skills of the Law of Attraction.

This self-preserving nature of the Law of Attraction explains why it was already noted by early generations three millennia ago.

Once you are in agreement with, and internalized the explanation above you also realize how the Law of Attraction is selfish and self-preserving by favoring those folks who understand and live in alignment with its framework.

Importantly, the Law of Attraction provides evolutionary advantage to those persons who innately understand how to benefit from it.

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The fourth attribute is – the Law of Attraction creates and manifests into our reality with minimal or without time delay.

If there seems to be a time lapse from mental conception to empiric manifestation, it is caused by our mental doubts and disbeliefs.

Quoting William Shakespeare: “Our doubts are traitors that make lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”  (Measure for Measure).

Note that the personal feeling of “delay” is due to the relativity of our perception of time.  It is a result of the constrained human capacity to sense time.

The Universe is always on time.  There is no “delay” in the Universe.  A “delay” of 100 years is a tiny blip in the chronology of our green and blue planet Earth, or in the chronology of the Universe.

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The fifth attribute – the process of creation and manifestation is effortless.

Indeed and in theory -manifestation is effortless.
If manifestation comes about with difficulties and requires efforts, it is because we harbor mixed feeling, antagonistic thoughts, doubts towards the goal or the desired outcome.  The doubts and mixed feelings exert the slowing brakes on the process of assembling of the components that are required for manifestation.

We use sometimes the term “faith-based” in connection with the Law of Attraction.   The reason is that the Law of Attraction operates flawlessly and seamlessly when the thinker has complete confidence in the processes and therefore does not interfere with the process of manifestation.

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Going back to the initial question – do you believe that the sun will rise tomorrow?  Are you sure it will rise tomorrow?  If you are sure then you can count with certainty on the Law of Attraction to deliver.

In other words – for best results – do not second guess the Law of Attraction.  Just trust it to do what it does best – it manifests.

The mindset of the Law of Attraction has five attributes to keep in mind.  All five require open-mindedness.  All five require mental clarity and willingness to think different.  All five attributes are constitutive of the framework of the Law of Attraction.


© 2013, 2017  Mandy Lender MD

Warning:  No part of this manifest may be copied, quoted or reproduced in any form without attributing express authorship to Mandy (Menahem) Lender MD.







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I was invited by the MEGA 3 triad to attend on 11/18/17 a closed group of healthcare professionals and entrepreneurs.  The meeting in Chicago, IL was dedicated to brainstorm, explore and discuss various modalities for healthcare professional in the private sector to expand and grow their practice.

Methods that were brought up included marketing through social media, marketing through earned media; investment in patients’ recruitment and retention; implementing efficiencies in office practice; and re-investment in practice expansion.

The recurrent theme of the conference was ROI on any management action.

Bruce Serbin, Principal in Serbin Media, discussed the difference between buying advertisement and earned media publicity.  Providers’ appearance on live TV shows are of immense value.  He conducted an exercise in pitch-the-media scripting for live appearances on TV and in print media outlets.

Tristan Schaub, Principal at Chirosushi walked through a series of examples of investing in Google’s AdWords and ad clicks (ppc) and demonstrated the actual ROI calculations during life-time of practice-retained loyal patients.  The discussion revolved around the relative benefits of Google, Facebook and LinkedIn. The value of patients’ video testimonials and provider’s Blog magazine writing.

Dr. Alok Trivedi discussed the value of the practice-owner’s time allocated to direct patient care versus practice leadership, creative planning and managing the enterprise.

The hard-to-account value of the conference was the informal free brainstorming across the boardroom table of the participants.



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Saginaw Harvey Spaulding Toastmasters Club 781 owns a piece of American memorabilia worthy of the Smithsonian’s curator’s envy.   This historical piece of Americana is not for transfer nor for sale.
The club owns a dedicated and autographed 50 states flag by the flag’s designer.

The flag was donated to the club by its official designer, Robert G. Heft who was a Toastmaster and member of Club 781 until his death in December 2009.


          Robert G. Heft

The 50 star flag was designed by Bob Heft in 1958 as a class project at this junior year in high-school.  On November 19, 1958 the Secretary of Defense for President Eisenhower introduced the new flag to the President during a cabinet meeting.  Then the flag was then officially approved by the cabinet and the president..

Bob Heft designed and copyrighted American Flags with 51 and up to 60 stars.  As the flag designer Bob Heft was invited to visit the White House 14 times and met with 9 US presidents.

In Saginaw Harvey Spaulding Toastmasters Club 781, Bob was the official Club Timer.  Once a year he delivered a commemorative historical speech on his life-time experiences as the flag’s designer.  I attended the last of his speeches in a club meeting in 2009.


#fiftystarsflag #Americanflag #PresidentDwightEisenhower #Americana #HarveySpauldingToastmastersClub #MandyLenderVicePresidentEducation  #Americanmemorabilia #Smithsonian #MandyLenderSpeakingServices #MandyLenderSpeechWriting #ToastmastersInternational #ChuckDodge #PaulFArnhold



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Did you notice that whenever you felt unhappy, the root cause of your anxious feeling is a feeling of guilt of some sort?

Bearing the sense of guilt is paralyzing.  Guilt obstructs our route to happiness and to creativity.

Guilt is a matter of self-belief.  Every person is responsible for their beliefs and thoughts. Every person is free to make a choice: accept or reject a belief driving the sense of guilt.

Every sense of guilt is rooted in some person’s mind.  Sharing a belief-causing-guilt is like spreading a communicable disease.   Accepting a belief-causing-guilt is a personal choice due to failure to practice preventive mental health precautions.

What’s the price of harboring thoughts and feelings of guilt?

A person who harbors a guilt feeling is unable to operate the Law of Attraction.  Personal feelings of guilt put the brakes on the creative generator of the Law of Attraction.  The Law of Attraction ensures that guilt will only manifest – guilt. Guilt begets guilt.

Guilt creates a barrier to attaining a State of Zen.  There is no life of happiness where there is guilt.

The good news is that guilt can be abolished.  Abolishing guilt is a personal decision. Reject the beliefs that cause guilt.  No one person can think for another person.

Therefore – think for yourself.

Abolish your thoughts of guilt by denying your thoughts of guilt.

Then move into the Zen.

#attractome #LawofAttraction


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The reason we ask for something is because we believe it will make us feel better or we will be better persons.

People always go after what they really want.  Always.  Really.  They move towards it even if it is ever so slightly.  Even if they say otherwise.

We don’t get anywhere in life by sitting still.

The Law of Attraction is the mental process of creation.  Creativity that materializes is the source of things manifested.  Desires breed creativity and creativity manifests in to empiric things.

The definition of the Law of attraction is – the manifested results of the creative process of the human mind.

The Law of Attraction is just an eponym for the creative outcomes of the human mind.

The philosopher and sociologist Walter Isaac Thomas is the author of Thomas Theorem (1923):

If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.

Interpretation of a situation causes the action. This interpretation is subjective. Actions are inspired by the subjective perceptions of situations that bring about new results.

The practical lesson is: whatever you are inspired to build in life, now is the time to make it happen.


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