WIN BY SLAYING YOUR AVOIDANCE I

WIN BY SLAYING YOUR AVOIDANCE is the first in a three parts mega-blog.

Nothing gets in the way of success more than the draining habit of avoidance.
Nothing gets in the way of the potential abundance delivered by the Law of Attraction than avoiding the munificence of life.

We avoid hard conversations.  Do you avoid arguments?

We avoid certain people.  Do you feel you lack sufficient education?  Do you avoid old people’s company?  Do you avoid young people’s company?  Do you avoid people of a different ethnic group who speak a foreign language?

Do you feel always criticized?  Do you avoid asking questions? 

We avoid evidence that contradicts what we think.  We tend to avoid hard decisions.
We avoid starting a project until we’re certain of the outcome.

I know people who avoid getting out of bed in the morning.

To justify our avoidance, we lie to ourselves and others.
We tell ourselves that we’re noble – to not hurt someone’s feelings.
We tell ourselves we don’t want to offend others.
We hope that things will get better.  We tell ourselves that things will get easier. We tell ourselves that we can avoid the real issue without any consequences.
We decide to start when the time will be right. We think we are not smart enough to handle the issue at hand.

Sometimes we muster up half the courage to do something. We hold half the conversation.  We do half of the hard thing.

We acknowledge the evidence but the circumstances are now different so it’s no longer relevant.

We see the person we’re avoiding but pretend to ignore them.

We start but don’t commit to the desired results.

We all have folks in our lives that are so important to us that we don’t want to risk pissing them off.

 We find seasonal reasons for procrastination.  Everyone blames The Pandemic.  If only The President would handle it different. Then we blame the Delta virus.   The fourth wave is coming. It’s all the unvaccinated Republicans’ fault.  “The Climate”.  Yes it’s the climate that changed.  

Half-efforts tend to make things worse, not better.    When things don’t get better, it only reinforces the internal conclusion that we shouldn’t have said nor done anything in the first place.

Avoiding reality is easier.

Avoiding reality today makes the future harder.

THE HIGH COST OF AVOIDANCE

There is increasingly a precious price to pay in return for avoidance.

When you avoid other people you learn only from your old self.

Do we avoid asking questions because we’re afraid to be perceived as a fool?

When you avoid other peoples you keep coaching yourself the same old concepts. 

Avoiding puts you on a hair-trigger, anything will set you off. We all do this. Who hasn’t entirely avoided a hard conversation with their partner about something only to find themselves in an insignificant argument over something trivial?

Of course, the petty fight isn’t about the trivial thing; it’s about avoidance of the hard thing.

Everything becomes harder until we stop avoiding what’s getting in the way. The longer you wait the higher the cost.

If you’re always the same avoider person, you keep on echoing in your mind the same old ideas.  Avoiding others preserves you as the narrow thinker.  Grow your mind by coordinating life with new people.

However, for fresh new ideas, it’s just about time that you allow other people into your life. These people will teach you new things. They will ask you questions that will force you to think about yourself, your emotions, and your actions in a new light.

Find new teachers.  Ask your new teachers questions.   Keep growing by learning from new teachers.

When you’re surrounded by new people, you expand your horizons. You learn from others and grow without feeling it.

It’s better to ask questions than to remain stagnant.

The only people who no longer change are the dead.

Let’s face it, conflict sucks… It can be awkward, unpleasant and downright awful to witness… And yet, for some reason we keep putting ourselves in all sorts of situations where we know certain people will inevitably get mad.

Aren’t you tired of arguing with your fellow co=worker? Or avoiding your family members over petty disputes?

Stay curious. Stay Interested.  Be interesting.

Do you let your assumptions, prejudices and anxieties get the better of you?  Sometimes, the things you think you need to avoid are the very things that will create the conflict you say you’re trying to avoid.

Avoidance is a vicious circle.

You cannot attract friends and prosperity by avoiding them.

The next blog installment in this series is titled:
How To Be the Kick-Ass Introvert

About Mandy Lender

Mandy Lender, MD is an author, physician, public speaker, volunteer and adventurer. He published two books and two more books are in progress. Links: www.mandylender.com www.google.com/+MandyLenderMasterAttractor www.karkinosfarm.com www.visionofhabakkuk.com
This entry was posted in existentialism, Law of Attraction, Mind - Body, Truth, Uncategorized, Zen and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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