Crash The Party. Be The Kick-Ass Introvert (II)
How to be a Kick-Ass Introvert without anyone noticing ‘til it’s too late.
As an avoider, do you consider yourself to be an introvert? Likely so.
You know the kind of folks. The one that are quiet but deadly. Don’t be fooled by their physical presence. The silent ones can lead you into all kinds of trouble when they kick in to gear.
You got the Introvert Power. You start owning your introvert power.
From socializing to presenting… It’s time for you to be the Kick-Ass Introvert you were meant to be.
So you still think you’re an introvert? Think again, buddy.
You’re a kick-ass introvert – a silent warrior – a badass – a lady – a gentleman – whatever you want to be – whatever pronouns you prefer – whatever kind of introvert you wish to label yourself.
Are you tired of being left out? Do you roll your eyes when someone says, “Hey, everybody – we’re all extroverts around here!”
Be An Introvert Of Action
Let’s now have a kind of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy session.
You might be an introvert. Go ahead and crush your old introvert myth.
Action 1: Make a commitment to yourself and others to avoid AVOID AVOIDANCE from this day forward. Avoid the small stuff. Don’t put things off for a more convenient time.
Do not make excuses for your avoidance. Don’t settle. Whatever you do, don’t give up on accomplishing your goals and dreams.
Next Action: Start to break free from your introvert personality prison.
Stevie Wonder once sang, “If it’s magic you want, get yourself together.” He was talking about love, but how does one get oneself together to get the love they deserve? The reality is that for introverts, getting ourselves together isn’t really something we do so much as something we discover.
More Action: Crash the party!
Do you hate parties? Interviews? Networking events? Do you dread small talk? Being charming? Picking up on subtle social cues? Crash it !
Yes. Crash social events.
Don’t panic. You know you’re awesome! You just wish everyone else validate your awesomeness.
Notice that once you crash a party, or a meeting you transition into the sphere of assertive behavior.
Action: Start talking to people in your target market.
Find out where they hide, when they avoid difficult conversations, when they feel like avoiding starting something new, when they avoid something so much that it hinders them from achieving their goals or plans.
Then take another step forward and create an experience for them. Create an experience where they experience the avoidance so deeply that they are forced to confront it directly. If you do that – you did them a favor.
Action: Go to a group, or a group of friends, and start a storytelling trend – a storytelling trend where you tell each other stories of avoidance.
Tell them about the last time you faced a hard conversation. Or when you were afraid to have a talk with your spouse about something difficult going on in your life. Or about the time you thought that by just avoiding it, things would magically go away or improve themselves.
I know it all sounds crazy. But again you advanced into the sphere of assertive behavior. That’s good.
Action: Take an opposite approach. Take a “yin” approach.
Take a yin approach. How can you have more conversations that challenge your assumptions? That produces evidence that contradicts what you believe to be true?
You must look at, and acknowledge how and why you avoid people and circumstances.
It means viewing “avoidance as something to avoid”.
It means asking yourself, what do you have to lose? You build a closed loop of avoiding avoidance as you find your next escape hatch.
In this way you break certain weird psychologic tangles in your mind.
Action: Develop a plan to continuously kill the avoidance, not your life.
If you’re tired of being an expert in your field and having theories but little results, this is the growth strategy for you.
Create a horrible feeling in your life that’s even worse than the horrible feeling of saying no.
Action: Another approach is to create a lifestyle that supports going all in. Here are a few examples:
Spike curiosity and then amplify that curiosity by providing a clear and compelling first impression, and then build momentum with anticipation.
Make every time you take a leap of faith and avoid a bad option – you increase the likelihood of success.
Action: Another way is to create a viral loop for AVOID AVOIDANCE. Make every time you take a leap of faith and avoid a bad option – this one decision -makes another decision more likely. In other words you gradually reinforce your future assertive behavior.
As you continue to prove yourself wrong by making correct decisions one after the other, the entire world begins to see things from your perspective. And as this happens, no longer will people question why “you’re so successful” or what makes you so “lucky” because the world now sees that it is indeed happening due to choice and not chance.
Next big blog post in this series is about making outrageous plans and assumptions.